Fleeting moments and fleeing thoughts

Ahh, so it’s almost Christmas again. I do love this part of the year. The anticipation and build up, and then before you know it, it’s all over – and you’re left with a slight nagging disappointment, and a feeling of wonder, as to what all the fuss was about!

Ahh, Christmas – don’t you just love it! For me it’s more about the days off work, and the Christmassy spirit that everybody seems to imbue. That Christmassy feeling. I do have that Christmassy feeling though I am not a Christian.

But, I still have that Christmassy feeling. Because, contrary to popular opinion, I do have feelings.

Oh! By the way. Did you perchance notice that the world did not end on the 21-12-2012? If you remember the Mayans had a calendar, which stopped abruptly on the 21-12-2012. Clearly they felt there was no need to go any further. Many people, especially those of a gullible bent, and doom mongerer’s and such ilk – saw this as proof of the end of the world.

Well I sat on my bed as the midnight hour approached on the 20th, and of course, nothing happened. Apart from a slight cold I caught. Which perhaps in another life in the past, may have carted me off to the other side!

I find it interesting. Interesting that a sizeable minority of people, would welcome the end of the world. Perhaps they are not happy in this life, and are itching for something better.

We always think there is something better don’t we? This applies to everything. Here I am typing this on an Ipad on a train to Manchester, and also thinking, things could be better.

But could they?

Of course!

But they could also be a whole lot worse.

There are many more ways of things being worse, then things being better

Remember that. That is an awfully wise statement. It encapsulates, pretty much, all you need to know to get through life!

So why am I on the train to Manchester? To see my little nieces. A surprise for them as they are not expecting me. When they see me it will be as if Father Christmas has arrived! I’ll take them out shopping, maybe watch a movie, eat the sort of meal that 11 year olds enjoy (McDonalds / Nando’s), and stop them from fighting. Fighting with each other that is and not strangers on the street…

I caught the 6:36am Virgin service from London Euston. Paid the £15 extra ‘weekend supplement’ to allow me to sit in first class. As a first class passenger I am now entitled to enjoy free wi-if, tea and coffees, and an interesting snack box. The other advantage of sitting in first class is the total absence of Chavs and low scum life!

I know, I am becoming a bit of a snob in my wiser twilight years.

But it’s true! People in first class are so much classier! Well, apart from the drug dealers. They don’t scream down their phones and they have fewer children running about making an awful racket. People in lower class have more children!

I think I may have made a racist or repugnant statement there.

Anyway, moving swiftly on (before I put my foot in it again).

Do you know what I am enjoying most about today. It’s only 7:18 am, and as I mentioned I am on the train to Manchester, what I am enjoying most, is the change in rhythm. Normally I’d be getting ready for work at this hour, or about to get out of bed, but today I am doing something different. It may not be particularly exotic, but it is different nonetheless, a healthy change from the normal and usual. And it is that which I am enjoying the most. The deviation from the diurnal rhythm.

I’ve also realised something else. I think I am a natural writer. I always have something to say. Don’t you think?! For example right now, at this moment, there are a billion thoughts and ideas and memories competing with each other, for the honour of appearing in these sentences. There are literally a thousand things I could write about at this moment.

What kind of things?

Well…there were the faces I saw on the night bus this morning on the way to the station. They we all either cleaners, early morning Pret/Cafe/Breakfast workers, or young people who’d had a long night and were clearly pissed or drugged out of their minds. Not the sort of people I usually see on my daily commute to work!

What else? It was dark and raining when I left home this morning. The combination of early start, neon glow, wet pavements, sleepy head – imparted the world with a magical dream like quality which I captured, or tried to capture, with my camera. The reflection of lit billboards and traffic lights in rain puddles as seen through the steamed up window of a bus – and in the background, the enticing reflection of a woman passengers leg, her black stocking ripped and needing repair.

There was something desperate in that ripped stocking. As if all her honour and glory of the night, was now made bare for the truth. The truth being that she was lonely and wanted to have sex with me…

Did she?

We’ll never know!

And there you go. The sorts of things competing for my attention.

Life is full of fleeting moments. Like Polaroids 99.999% of them are lost forever.

But a few survive a little longer.

And some even make it to the page.


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